Overall it's interesting, shifting things around without regard for the tastes and feelings of another person. I never really thought it would really bother the people I've lived with if I were, say, to move a poster or change the silver ware drawer. I just figured that they liked things a different way and would try to understand their systems and reasoning. Fascinating people study...strange, I know. I just like to figure out what makes people tick...see their perspectives and understand motivations. The thing is, it's been kinda hard moving stuff to where I want it. I've spent a lot of time paying closer attention to the wants of others and my little game of understanding that I look at all the walls and can't figure out where the Pisarro print should go. I still haven't moved anything in 3 of the rooms because I can't make sense of it all yet. The thing I felt I organized most of anything is the stack of dvds that I got from the library...because they will only be here for a week or two. I'm not sure where to put my clothes, as I am attempting for the 32nd time to actually use a dresser and closet like a grown up.
The happier part is that it's making me think of new leaves I can turn over, like the closet thing or what not so healthy groceries am I going to refrain from purchasing. I want to make this a warm, cozy and clean home that people love staying at...like a retreat from all the craziness. I really do love this place...broken air conditioner and all. It's fairly open but still cozy. The colors are great and help me to see how much like my dad I am even though I fought against becoming one of those people that painted their house all sorts of 'crazy' colors. I rebelled in my late teens by telling my dad I wanted to paint my bedroom white. The starkest whitest white I could find. Matte finish and all. Wow, I was a lame kid.
So, to sum it all up, this week has been good. Pretty peaceful and introspective. I need the introspection or I start to behave differently and my thoughts get all screwy. I start to lose my perspective since I enjoy the perspectives of others so often. I know this is more of a question of balance rather than having one over the other. I really do like trying to catch of glimpse of someone else's view on the world. It makes me appreciate some things in a whole new way that I would never have thought of. It helps me see the cause and effect for so many situations and how to avoid pitfalls along the way. When I can connect on an empathetic level with someone I am happier than any when I do anything else...like actual joy. It seems an important part of who I am, and something pretty unique to me. I rarely get the opportunity to connect with another person who does this sort of thing. It's something I think I will always be doing. I just need to keep my own perspective in mind a bit more.
Living alone is do be a little weird for a while, but I think in the end it will be very good for me. I don't know how long I will get to live this way, but I'm going to ride it out :) More perspective another day....