Saturday, November 1, 2008

Oh competition...

Week three. Geez. It already feels like week 8 in years passed. Not a terrible thing, as I was worried that I was starting it up too late. Both my guys are already very familiar with the format, so it's really already down to refinement. Sure...we have the dignature drinks ahead of us (ugh) and speeches to prepare, but that's the mutable part. It always is. It will be over again before I know it.
That's the thing that you always hear as a kid- "When you get older time will fly by before you know it." Even as you get into your twenties this doesn't entirely make sense and you just assume that they were wrong. Then one day- BAM! It's been a year it's been 10 years since you graduated high school. It's not a crisis, all right? It's just the truth. It feels so cliche to be feeling weird about being older, but if it's a cliche it has to be based on some form of reality. My last birthday feels like it was a few months ago and I still haven't finished Hope's birthday present (her birthday is in April). Christmas is coming and I haven't even started to think about what I might get for anyone, and have no intention of thinking about it for another month at least. Everything feels busy busy and has too much momentum. Choices seem like they fly at me all the time and I haven't had time to even consider the one I just made. I'm a little dizzy even thinking about it.
The upside is that it doesn't stress me out. It actually makes me have hope for my future. I've been waiting for some strange event to distinguish the 'beginning of my life' but I've finally accepted that it's here...a wild force that I can either ignore or ride like a wave. The second one sounds like it would take a whole lot less energy. At the same time, it seems like the possibilities my life has the potential to hold are amazing. I know there are many great things to come. If my life was a symphony, the musical themes would already be extablished and it would be moving into a variation of themes that wind in and out of eachother in ways that you wouldn't expect when you heard them individually. You know what I mean. When you are watching a musical and you've heard all these different songs and then they sing a song that incorporates everything you've heard into an amazingly constructed overlay of everything. It's almost overwhelming to hear and to think of how someone was brilliant to orchestrate it in such a way. And that's how I feel about my life right now...all the themes from throughout my life are starting to intertwine, revealing unnoticed relation to other aspects of my life. Not too shabby :)

Well, that's enough of blog land for one day. I am ready to do other, more exciting Guitar Hero or Hulu!


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